You know there's something wrong with your day that you read more than 650 strips of a single comic archive.
You know there's some sort of sign somewhere ingrained in the fact that the site you were on crashed when you were trying to access strip #666. Now, I'm not giving credence to anything but coincidence, but wow, what a coincidence.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
A place called home
I'm back home again, after a short, painful stint in Colorado and a long, yet fun, thirteen hour drive to Yellowstone today. I'm pretty whooped, but have to get something off my chest a little bit (but I promise to tone it down considerably from the first iteration I attempt to write):
I wish you didn't make me feel so goddamned nice. Seriously. What the hell are you trying to pull? You know things about me that I haven't even thought about in over a decade and you didn't even have to pry. I ain't like that, sweetheart. Now there's very little I miss about the big O, but I'm saddened to say that you're one of those select things.
--
... Okay, so that's probably going to come back and bite me in the ass. Whatevs, I'm not rightly caring so much at the moment. That, and I'm still attempting to get a normal internet connection (fighting with my sister already for our Verizon aircard) and adjusting back to being amongst the mountains.
Also, I'm a bit amazed at the higher-than-normal levels of synchronicity that have been around me recently. Seriously. Once, okay, chalk that up to bizarre coincidence. Twice? It could happen. Thrice? Getting weird. Four times? Fuck. That. Shit.
I wish you didn't make me feel so goddamned nice. Seriously. What the hell are you trying to pull? You know things about me that I haven't even thought about in over a decade and you didn't even have to pry. I ain't like that, sweetheart. Now there's very little I miss about the big O, but I'm saddened to say that you're one of those select things.
--
... Okay, so that's probably going to come back and bite me in the ass. Whatevs, I'm not rightly caring so much at the moment. That, and I'm still attempting to get a normal internet connection (fighting with my sister already for our Verizon aircard) and adjusting back to being amongst the mountains.
Also, I'm a bit amazed at the higher-than-normal levels of synchronicity that have been around me recently. Seriously. Once, okay, chalk that up to bizarre coincidence. Twice? It could happen. Thrice? Getting weird. Four times? Fuck. That. Shit.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Still Alive
Over the course of the past four weeks, I've been picking up all manners of video games, and happened to pop one of my all-time favorite games back into the old 'box: Portal. Granted, the first night I did, I was not entirely sober, which meant that the mindbendiness of the game was a bit of a mindfuck...but there were no repercussions, luckily.
Since then, I've been playing it more, as well as listening to the theme song, which I actually found somewhat disturbing, due to the following line:
"Now these points of data make a beautiful line / and we're out of beta, we're releasing on time."
*Spoiler Alert*
This is sung by GLaDOS after she was "killed" by Chell (the game's protagonist). Now, it's not disturbing as much that the computer is continuing to sing, as that's sorta the point of the song (GLaDOS is singing about how she's Still Alive, hence the title). The disturbing point (which I'm sure everyone and their brother had already arrived at) for me was how, at the beginning of the game, Chell sat alone in a cell with a timer counting down to zero. Her progress is tracked over a series of controlled levels, but, for some reason, the infinitely scheming GLaDOS fails to take into account the fact that Chell could escape the final trap.
...or did she? It's a little surprising that all of the areas Chell gets to after she escapes the final trap have portal-accessible areas, culminating with a wonderful battle in GLaDOS's control room. Why would GLaDOS make a mistake like that? Easy answer: She wouldn't.
We already know that Chell is a subject of an experiment...but which one? We're led to assume it's testing the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, which is said to be untested. But, if that was the case, why would GLaDOS claim that once Chell is out in the wild (perhaps going to Black Mesa? Ha ha, that was a joke, fat chance...) that her project is "out of beta...releasing on time"? Is it not that we played a lab rat forced to play a game, but that we were actually part of a deeper, more sinister project, of which we are the moving force?
Everything about Chell's testing and subsequent escape, from the counting clock that sets her loose to her destruction of GLaDOS's control center (and GLaDOS's destruction of Chell's identity) has a feeling of a tightly controlled experiment, in which Chell was supposed to escape.
Brr. I didn't know a game could make me feel that used. I didn't beat it; it beat me through me beating it. Wow, just...wow. It makes me find a whole new level of appreciation for its multi-layered subtlety.
Since then, I've been playing it more, as well as listening to the theme song, which I actually found somewhat disturbing, due to the following line:
"Now these points of data make a beautiful line / and we're out of beta, we're releasing on time."
*Spoiler Alert*
This is sung by GLaDOS after she was "killed" by Chell (the game's protagonist). Now, it's not disturbing as much that the computer is continuing to sing, as that's sorta the point of the song (GLaDOS is singing about how she's Still Alive, hence the title). The disturbing point (which I'm sure everyone and their brother had already arrived at) for me was how, at the beginning of the game, Chell sat alone in a cell with a timer counting down to zero. Her progress is tracked over a series of controlled levels, but, for some reason, the infinitely scheming GLaDOS fails to take into account the fact that Chell could escape the final trap.
...or did she? It's a little surprising that all of the areas Chell gets to after she escapes the final trap have portal-accessible areas, culminating with a wonderful battle in GLaDOS's control room. Why would GLaDOS make a mistake like that? Easy answer: She wouldn't.
We already know that Chell is a subject of an experiment...but which one? We're led to assume it's testing the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, which is said to be untested. But, if that was the case, why would GLaDOS claim that once Chell is out in the wild (perhaps going to Black Mesa? Ha ha, that was a joke, fat chance...) that her project is "out of beta...releasing on time"? Is it not that we played a lab rat forced to play a game, but that we were actually part of a deeper, more sinister project, of which we are the moving force?
Everything about Chell's testing and subsequent escape, from the counting clock that sets her loose to her destruction of GLaDOS's control center (and GLaDOS's destruction of Chell's identity) has a feeling of a tightly controlled experiment, in which Chell was supposed to escape.
Brr. I didn't know a game could make me feel that used. I didn't beat it; it beat me through me beating it. Wow, just...wow. It makes me find a whole new level of appreciation for its multi-layered subtlety.
Friday, May 2, 2008
My December
Going on 4.30am. I've finished my calculus that was technically due on Monday, but I hadn't finished due to CSCI homework. No chance in the wide world that I'll have the problem set that's due tomorrow done. I'll probably just wait until Monday to hand it in and take the late points.
I did finish my history paper. I..don't know how much the professor will like it. If it was my politics class, it'd be a good A paper. So I guess we'll just have to see how that goes. Good, bad, I don't really care. Class evaluations are (hopefully) tomorrow, so I can actually say what I want about the course, and soon enough it'll be over. Fin. Done with.
--
And I'd give it all away just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away to have someone to come home to
^--
Love and life shouldn't be that hard. Who knows why, but it is. Too many people I care about are hurting these days: My sisters, my friends, me. What gets me is that things shouldn't have to be that painful. I know, I know...pain helps you grow, makes you stronger, blah blah blah blah blah. I even agree with all of that. In fact, I like to think I'm pretty adept with dealing with it. What gets me is to see people I care about in pain, to know that they're having a rough time of it. It's just... is it really so much to ask for their lives to be made easier? Even a little? I don't really care about my own in this respect...I just wish everyone else's could be a few shades brighter.
Edit: I'm sorry for the emo-ness of this post. It's late, I'm tired, I'm grouchy at the world for sucking. I've been listening to Linkin Park. I'm hungry. Deal with it.
I did finish my history paper. I..don't know how much the professor will like it. If it was my politics class, it'd be a good A paper. So I guess we'll just have to see how that goes. Good, bad, I don't really care. Class evaluations are (hopefully) tomorrow, so I can actually say what I want about the course, and soon enough it'll be over. Fin. Done with.
--
And I'd give it all away just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away to have someone to come home to
^--
Love and life shouldn't be that hard. Who knows why, but it is. Too many people I care about are hurting these days: My sisters, my friends, me. What gets me is that things shouldn't have to be that painful. I know, I know...pain helps you grow, makes you stronger, blah blah blah blah blah. I even agree with all of that. In fact, I like to think I'm pretty adept with dealing with it. What gets me is to see people I care about in pain, to know that they're having a rough time of it. It's just... is it really so much to ask for their lives to be made easier? Even a little? I don't really care about my own in this respect...I just wish everyone else's could be a few shades brighter.
Edit: I'm sorry for the emo-ness of this post. It's late, I'm tired, I'm grouchy at the world for sucking. I've been listening to Linkin Park. I'm hungry. Deal with it.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Listening to Dispatch
A lot of questions swirling around in my head, coming from eighteen different corners. Questions like "why?" or "how" or "what?" or "what next?" or "why not?" Questions without answers.
___: I wish there was more I could do. I am so, so sorry. If there's anything, anything, I can do, you know I will.
___: I wish I wasn't scared of just talking to you. I'm working on it, I swear.
...
I could probably write more of those, but at the risk of being emo and/or becoming Roast Beef I should probably just throw in the towel for the night and put my mind to rest.
___: I wish there was more I could do. I am so, so sorry. If there's anything, anything, I can do, you know I will.
___: I wish I wasn't scared of just talking to you. I'm working on it, I swear.
...
I could probably write more of those, but at the risk of being emo and/or becoming Roast Beef I should probably just throw in the towel for the night and put my mind to rest.
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